Starved
by LoveNerd
Summary: Hiei grew up in an environment where kind touches were rare, so it's really no surprise that the sills human's easy affection is overwhelming for him. When the team finds out about his issue, will they be able to help him overcome it? No explicit couples but you can read it however you want, who am I to stop you?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

 **Hiei has been hiding his secret well enough, but one playful winter day turns disastrous when Yusuke assaults the shortest team member with affection.**

 **I Own Nothing T-T**

Hiei's POV

Before meeting Kurama (and later Yusuke and company), I didn't really understand people who were constantly touching and hugging others. The closest thing I had to "family" growing up was the bandits who found me as a baby and touch from them was only ever meant to hurt. After they grew fearful of me and forced me into exile, I was entirely alone and that was fine by me. I was completely capable of taking care of myself and I never had to worry about being betrayed if there was no one around to betray me. I didn't feel the pathetic human feelings of "loneliness." At least, not until I became "friends" (a pathetic human term) with the detective, the fox, and the oaf.

The oaf, at least, isn't a touchy person (which is maybe his only redeemable trait). He's obsessed with maintaining his manly visage which somehow means he can't be affectionate with other men. While I find his reasoning completely idiotic, I appreciate that he leaves me well enough alone in terms of "friendly touch."

Kurama is somewhat more touchy, but he seems to understand my annoyance with him whenever he gets too close and usually respects me (or fears me) enough to let me have my way.

Yusuke, however, is surprisingly touch happy. While he wasn't the type to fully hug others, he passes out little bits of affection like candy. After a fight, he would give me a congratulatory pat on the back and he loves to throw his arm around my shoulder or ruffle my hair whenever we stood near each other.

At first, this really pissed me off. I've always hated people touching me, but even more, I hate my reaction. At first, my whole body floods with panic when I received any contact, even after I realized their touches weren't violent. Despite that, despite everything mt childhood taught me, despite my trust issues, and despite the fact that I do everything in my power to stop being weak, despite everything, I began to… crave this form of affection.

Once the initial _I'm-being-attacked-must-fight-back_ thoughts faded, each touch filled a place in my core that I'd never even realized was empty. Their touches made me feel… warm. And then, the second they pulled back, this needy clawing thing in me wanted it back immediately and preferably forever. This happens every time without fail, and every time, I hate myself more and more for my pathetic mess of reaction to something so insignificant.

Fortunately for me, I was the team's mind reader, so my shameful feelings remained a secret… Until they didn't…

Neutral POV

It was the first day of December, and Japan could have passed for Antarctica (if Antarctica was a small tropical island filled with people and shopping centers). The weather was oppressively cold, and the snow that was now coming down in a gentle flurry had been going nonstop for days meaning the snow was almost knee deep. The streets were filled with a cacophony of children laughing and wrestling in the snow.

Our story lies on the outer edge of town where two much larger children also laughed and wrestled in the snow… though, there wrestling was particularly more destructive.

"That all you got, Urameshi?!" the taller carrot top goaded.

The slightly shorter boy in green grinned, a playfully malicious, glint in his amber eyes. "I figured I'd take it easy on you so you'd at least have a chance to win; call it an early Christmas gift!" He laughed as the taller boy glared.

"Hey!" he yelled, rushing the other boy, "I'm gonna kick your butt!" the boys collided and then crashed into the snow, laughing as they hit and shoved each other.

A sweet, almost musical, laugh rang out from the beautiful red haired boy watching from the deck of what can only be described as a huge ass temple. "Well, they certainly are spirited…" He said to his very short companion, amusement glittering is his forest green eyes.

This comment earned him a huff from the spiky haired demon beside him. "I believe you mispronounced the word stupid, fox." His tone sounded cold and cruel, and if you hadn't spent years with him, it would have been impossible to detect the playful edge to his barb.

The so called fox(y lad amiright? lol) merely smiled at his temperamental friend.

On the snowy lawn, the boys seemed to have finished their roughhousing (with the taller boy losing pitifully). Yusuke was doing a ridiculous victory dance with his arms waving around his head. "Aw yeah, I'm the best!" he cheered as he other boy lay face down in the snow.

The shorter boy on the deck rolled his eyes. "You can hardly consider yourself the victor if you were fighting such a pitiful opponent." He said with a smirk, one of his eyebrows raised in an obvious challenge.

Both boys ignored the groan and subsequent middle finger from the semi-conscious loser of the previous match. The boy in green beamed. "Oh really? What if I beat you then, Hiei? Will I be the victor then?" He asked, getting himself ready for another tumble in the snow.

Hiei smirked. "Even if I wanted to take part in your childish games, you wouldn't be able to beat me." He gloated.

Yusuke laughed deviously. "Oh yeah?" He asked. "What have I said about bragging before you win?" Then, far too quickly for any normal human to see, he picked up a handful of snow and launched a speedy snowball towards the deck. "It just makes you look stupid."

Luckily for Hiei, he wasn't a normal human (and in fact, wasn't human at all) so he was easily able to see and jump away from the frozen projectile. Kurama wasn't so lucky, as he hadn't been expecting to be thrown into the conflict. The snow hit his shoulder with a muffled "thump" and he started in surprise, accidentally spilling the tea he'd be sipping.

He shot Yusuke a dirty look, and the Spirit detective had the decency to look somewhat guilty. He started to say "Sorry, man" but it was at that moment that the intended target of the snow ball launched a counterattack that his him square in his sheepish face. Yusuke wiped the snow off his face as he turned to fully face the fire demon. "Ohhh wow. That was low, dude."

There was a small grin starting to form on the fire demon's face, this one far more genuine and playful than his usual sadistic smirks. Yusuke couldn't keep up the annoyed facade in the other. Instead, he just laughed. "Oh it is so on."

The next ten minutes saw an intense battle rife with mayhem. Kurama, however, did not see what would come to be known as the great snowball war of 2017, a story passed down for generations as the most glorious combat ever fought with snow and ice. Instead, he went inside to make more tea for himself, and hot chocolate for the other boys for when they decided to come inside and get warm.

While he heated the water, he glanced outside and was witness to a heartwarming sight. Hiei and Yusuke were both collapsed into the snow facing each other. Both of them had huge grins on their faces as they shook with laughter. Hiei has always been emotionally guarded, even with the team he kept a tight lid on all of his emotions, positive or negative. So seeing him so open filled all of the boys with warm simmering joy.

Still, no amount of " _omg that's so pure"_ could stop the cold from seeping into the bones of each teen. Yusuke had begun to shiver, Kuwabara hadn't had the intense battling to warm him up so he was practically an ice cube, and even Hiei who was essentially the unholy offspring of fire and ice that was fairly resistant to extreme temperatures but even he was starting to get goosebumps all over his exposed arms. They made their way inside just as Kurama was popping the marshmallows into their cups of cocoa.

Yusuke and Kuwabara excitedly took hold of their mugs, basking in the heat that returned feeling to their fingers. Hiei just frowned and raised an eyebrow.

"And just what the hell is that?" he asked when Kurama attempted to hand him his own cup of warm chocolatey goodness (I wish someone would make me some hot cocoa… T^T)

"Geez you really didn't have a childhood, did you?" Kuwabara mumbled into his drink. He said that whenever Hiei didn't understand little human things like rock-paper-scissors or hot cocoa. It was a bit of a sore subject for the fiery boy so urama stepped in before he could get too angry.

"It's a human beverage, commonly drunk by humans during winter. It's mostly chocolate and milk heated up to help fend off the cold."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "I don't need the help of some pathetic human drink." He snapped. At first, it sounded like his usual posturing, but after a quick look, they realized he was completely dry and looked perfectly warm. Seems his higher body temperature was enough to evaporate the melted snow that had tried to cling to him. "Unlike you useless humans, I'm perfectly capable of getting warm myself."

He was so busy bragging about his superiority to notice the evil grin forming on Yusuke's face, but just as he finished his spiel, Yusuke launched at him. He crushed their bodies together and held Hiei in a tight hug, thoroughly soaking Hiei's shirt with the water from his own. Hiei didn't notice the cold. He was far too busy focusing on the wild thoughts overwhelming him. Hiei made a choked off noise of panic. Hiei was being assaulted by so many conflicting feelings: joy and panic, warmth and ice cold fear, needing more touch and needing it to end.

Yusuke, for someone who was awful at reading books, was exceptional at reading his friends. He pulled back, but kept his hands on Hiei's shoulders in concern. "Hiei…? He asked softly. Without the flood of sensation from the hug Hiei's brain was able to kick back in (albeit sluggishly due to the warm hands touching him still) and he felt a swell of humiliation. Shame clawed at his chest and clogged his throat. His eyes flitted between the 3 people all looking at him worriedly. He should say something to smooth this over, tell some lie that he could hide behind, but he couldn't think, let alone breathe. "Hey, you ok?" Yusuke asked, his voice intentionally soft to hide his growing anxiousness at Hiei's silence.

"Hiei, what's the matter?"

"What's wrong, shrimp?"

Hiei jerked out of Yusuke's hold and did what he did best: he ran.

What happens next? Will the team ever find their friend on the run? Will Hiei ever be honest with them or himself? Will Hiei ever get the affection he so craves? Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Everyone's reaction and Hiei and Yukina have a moment**

 **I still own nothing**

Neutral POV

Yusuke stared for a long second at the place where Hiei had just been. Yusuke blinked and suddenly spurred back to life. "Hiei!" he shouted, starting to rush towards the door. He had to go after him, even though he knew there was no point.

"Yusuke," Kurama said, gently grabbing Yusuke's arm to hold him back. "He's gone. He could be anywhere… there's no point in searching. We just have to wait for him to be ready to come back."

Yusuke wrenched his arm away. He knew Kurama was right and there was no point in being angry at him but he didn't know what else to feel. "So what?! We're just supposed to leave him out there all alone?!" he snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. "Did you see his face?! He's-" But upon seeing Kurama's grim expression he stopped short. The redhead was clearly just as upset by his friend's suffering. When Yusuke spoke again, his voice was much softer, breaking with emotion. "I've never seen him look so scared…"

At this point, Kuwabara stepped forward, placing a hand on Yusuke's shoulder. "He's tough, Urameshi, he can take care of himself."

Yusuke sighed. "I know. I just… wish he'd trust us enough to realize he doesn't have to."

~ Elsewhere ~

Hiei didn't know where he was going, he was too focused on the fact that his lungs refused to cooperate with him. He couldn't breathe and running so hard was just making it worse. He was finally forced to skid to a stop and gasp for air.

His eyes were burning with unshed tears (he hated himself so much for it) and his hands were shaking. His knees were weak and felt like they could collapse underneath him at any second. His stomach was upset and he worried he would throw up. His mind was racing. He barely had a second to process each thought before he was sent rocketing to another one.

 _You're so pathetic - now they know how weak you are - you're useless - why are you so caught up by something so insignificant - if you were actually worth something then this wouldn't matter - you're not breathing idiot -_

Hiei was forced by the burning in his chest to take a breath. He didn't have time for this, and he needed to figure out a way to smooth things over, but he couldn't stop the liquid panic flowing through his veins.

He didn't know how long passed before he was able to get himself under control, but by the time he stopped shaking, he was sitting in the snow with his knees drawn to his chest. The sky was dark.

Normally, he wouldn't be cold, but same as with the snowball fight he was sweating and it was making his body uncomfortable cool due to its exposure to the chill air. This time though, the sweat was caused by panic rather than fun.

He let out a sigh, his breath coming out as a puff of steam. He was exhausted, and while he knew he wasn't ready to face the team, he had nowhere else to go. Maybe he could sneak in and be able to put off facing them until morning? It was worth a shot.

He stood on legs shaky from misuse and patted the snow from his clothes. He took off at a run and was back at the temple in seconds. He crept in through an open kitchen window and let out a quiet sigh of relief when he saw all 3 boys fast asleep in the living room. His steps were silent as he made his way to the stairs and up to one of the second floor rooms. He smirked a little as he opened the door. It was no surprise he was easily able to avoid detection, he did used to be a master thief after all.

But, just as he thought he was home free, he heard a soft voice behind him. "Mr. Hiei?" He nearly jumped out of his skin as he whirled to face the lovely ice maiden herself, Yukina. He relaxed minutely as he realized it was just his sister.

"Why're you awake?" He asked, in a voice that was unintentionally harsh. She flinched back a little and Hiei felt self hatred curl up in his stomach. He hated hurting her, but apologizing would be out of character and risked making her suspicious. It wasn't worth it. He had to keep away from her, for her own good.

She looked down to her feet a faint pink blush gracing her lovely pale cheeks. "Oh, um, I had trouble sleeping but I felt an energy enter the house. I worried you were a burglar or something." Hiei smirked a little at that. She wasn't too far from the mark. He was indeed a burglar, or at least, he used to be.

"Hn." He responded.

Silence passed between them after that. Hiei wished he could talk comfortable with her, but he was rubbish with people under normal circumstances but with so much unspoken history between them, it was pretty much impossible. After the silence started to become unbearable, Hiei grunted out a "Good night" and turned to retreat into the room and get to bed.

Yukina's sweet voice stopped him. "Mr. Hiei? Pardon me for asking but… are you alright?" Hiei tensed, ready to go on the offensive but Yukina seemed to sense this and quickly added "Kazuma and the others seemed worried about you."

"I'm fine." He snapped, with a note of finality. "They're just idiots." He closed the door behind him quietly but with enough force to make it clear he didn't want to be disturbed.

As he crawled into bed, Yukina's words echoed in his mind. " _Kazuma and the others seemed worried about you."_ There was a lot to unpack there. Firstly, he hated the reverence with which she said the oaf's name. Didn't she know how dangerous it was to love others? Even if she'd cared for him as a friend it would have been bad enough, but she seemed to be completely smitten, and with an idiot no less. He let out a growl but set those thoughts aside for now. He wouldn't be coming up with a solution for that particular problem tonight.

The next issue he had with her statement was why the others would worry for him? They should have been disgusted by his pathetic display… Maybe they pitied him for being so weak? No, that didn't sound quite right. A soft voice in his head whispered that maybe they really did care about him but he shoved it aside. He refused to give in to such foolish hopes.

He rolled over, determined to stop thinking and go to sleep, but there was a gentle knock on his door. He opened his eyes and glared at the wall. He was tempted to just ignore it but after sensing Yukina's energy he sighed and rose. He couldn't very well ignore someone he cared so much about, especially not after he'd been so cruel to her minutes earlier.

He opened the door and was surprised to see Yukina was nowhere in sight. Until he noticed that she had left a steaming mug of tea just outside the door. He felt his chest warm at the kind act. He didn't deserve to share the same blood as such a sweet, caring girl. He picked up the cup and took a sip. He was surprised to find it was his favorite kind. He let out a breath that almost could've been a laugh and shook his head. He really didn't deserve her at all.

Hiei closed the door and went back to bed with his drink, and with thoughts of his sister filling his mind, he finally fell into a deep sleep.

 **Can you tell I'm a little gay for Yukina? Cause I'm a little gay for Yukina**

 **What will happen next?**  
 **Will the boys ever wake up? (probably yes)**  
 **Will Hiei be honest about his feelings? (probably no)**  
 **Will Yukina ever find out the secret Hiei's keeping from her? (Maybe?)**  
 **Tune in for the next thrilling installment of Starved**


	3. Chapter 3

Neutral POV

The the sun rose upon the snow covered Japan, the whole island seemed to glisten. Unfortunately, due to the early hour, very few people were awake and out to witness it. That almost made it seem even more beautiful in a way. At least, that's how Kurama felt as he looked out the window to watch the city wake. His thoughts wandered from the peaceful outside to the worrying inside. Everyone was asleep, but Kurama could sense that it was just the calm before the storm.

Upon waking up, he'd first felt worry for the whereabouts of everyone's favorite fire demon, but upon sensing his energy upstairs, his worries had shifted to the short boy's emotional state. It was often thought that Kurama was the closest to Hiei, and while there was some truth in that, Kurama could rarely read his best friend as much as he hoped. He didn't know what was wrong and that worried him… Hiei so often looked to Kurama for help and Kurama's biggest fear was that one day he wouldn't be able to and Hiei would collapse in on himself. Kurama was so deep in worried thought that he didn't hear one of the other boys grumbling awake.

"Kurama, what're you lookin at?" Kuwabara's gruff voice asked.

Kurama startled in surprised, his emerald green eyes widening "Oh, good morning Kuwabara. My apologies, I was simply thinking…" Kurama tried to hide his feelings behind a smile but Kuwabara's sixth sense was far too strong to be fooled (or maybe he just knew Kurama that well).

Kuwabara stood and made his way to stand in front of Kurama and put a hand on the redhead's shoulder. "It's all gonna work out man. We can fix this, _a_ s _a_ t _ea_ m."

Kurama smiled again, more real this time. "When did you become so wise, Kuwabara?"

The boy grinned, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "Nah, I'm not too wise, I just know us. We've pulled off some insane things, way more insane things than making a tiny grump talk to us."

Kurama let out a soft laugh. "You're right." He looked at the teen who had grown so much in the past years. "Thank you, Kuwabara."

Kuwabara let out a boyish chuckle. "Hehe, no problem."

As the city finally began to wake, Kurama and Kuwabara watched from the window, waiting for their friends to join them in consciousness so they could come to a solution.

Upstairs~

Hiei groaned as the light that was filtering through the blinds hit him directly in the face and dragged him, kicking and screaming, into the waking world. He grumbled, yanking the blanket over his head, but the damage was done. He was awake.

He threw the blanket off his body as he sat up. "I hate you…" He growled, glaring at the sun. His glowering was interrupted by a yawn and he sighed, wiping the last of the sleep from his eyes. He drew a knee to his chest as he sat in the (slightly uncomfortable) bed. He could hear voices from downstairs.

He had a choice: He could A) leave and avoid everyone until nightfall and push off the confrontation until they cornered him or he died. Or B) he could go down and pretend nothing was wrong and hope they played along. Both plans had problems.

Plan A was destined to fail eventually, as they would inevitably have to come together for a case. Then there'd be awkwardness, and the others would let it cloud their minds and he'd have to pick up the slack. Plan B was pretty hopeless too because Kurama had always been able to see right through Hiei, Yusuke would stare at him with those big concerned eyes and make Hiei feel like garbage for ignoring him, and there's no was Kuwabara would give up a chance to tease Hiei.

Hiei groaned. There was no winning with this. The real question is did he want to deal with it now or later. It was probably better to get it over with now and move on (or he might run the risk of his teammates getting hurt on a case) but Hiei loved to avoid his problems (and it would most likely be Kuwabara who got hurt so who cares). Hiei decided it would be best to pull on his talent for avoidance and go with plan A.

He got up and went to the window. He pushed it open and was about to make a break for it when there was a banging at the door. He sighed.

"Up and at em, brat! Yukina made breakfast so you better come eat it!" Genkai's gruff voice called through the door. Hiei started outside at the freedom just within his reach, but in the end he closed the window. He couldn't let his sister's hard work go to waste. So, he stayed for her (and not because he was scared of Genkai's wrath. Nope. Never. Not Hiei). He opened the door and was met with the only person in the world shorter than him.

Genkai smirked at him. "Look who finally decided to grace this old lady with his presence." She said, before taking another drag from her cigarette. "You should get going. You're food's getting cold. Hiei grunted and moved past her to head downstairs, but he could feel her eyes on his back the whole time. It was strange, she almost seemed to be… concerned?

He shrugged it off as he reached the bottom step. He could now hear Kuwabara and Yusuke bickering loud and clear. He took a ready-ing breath, and shoved his shaking hands into his pant pockets.

As he walked into the dining room, it got quiet real quick. He clenched his fists anxiously as Yusuke gasped. The boy probably hadn't even realized Hiei was back (the boy was strong as hell, but his spirit sense was pathetic). Determined to pretend as if nothing was wrong, Hiei sat down without a word. Silence reigned for a moment, and Hiei felt anxiety coiling in his gut.

He worried he might not even be able to eat, but then Yukina, sweet Yukina, came to his rescue. "Oh, Mr. Hiei, you're awake." She smiled kindly. "Let me make you a plate." She said, going to the kitchen to do just that.

Kuwabara sighed dreamily. "She's going to make an amazing wife…"

Hiei rolled his eyes. What did his sister see in the moron?

Yusuke snorted "Oh yeah, Kuwabara? Who's the husband in this scenario?"

Kuwabara looked affronted. "Me, of course!"

Yusuke laughed loudly. "Ha! In your dreams, maybe." And thus, the two were back to bickering. Yukina coming back with Hiei's plate was the only thing that stopped the fight from becoming physical.

"What're you guys talking about?" She asked.

Kuwabara went beet red and Yusuke smirked devilishly.

"Nothing!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Nothing~" Yusuke sang.

Kurama chuckled but Yukina seemed to buy it (or at least she was willing to let it slide). The rest of breakfast passed similarly with playful banter between them (Hiei even contributed a few barbs directed at Kuwabara). Hiei was just starting to relax, thinking that maybe they really would just let it slide, but because some universal power really wanted to torture him (A/N: I'm so sorry bb ily), it didn't last.

There was a slight lull in the conversation just as they finished their food, and Kurama took the chance to lean forward, donning a serious but kind expression. "Hiei," He began in a tone that meant things were getting serious. Hiei wanted to run but he knew he had to face the music sooner or later, and he'd rather his sister didn't see him running away like a weakling. Instead, he squared his shoulders and met Kurama's gaze. "May we ask what happened yesterday? If you feel uncomfortable sharing, we understand, but we want to help you if you'll let us."

"Yeah!" Kuwabara said, diverting his attention from Yukina.

"We're your friends, man." Yusuke added.

Yukina seemed to sense that this was a private matter and she quietly picked up the plates and retreated to the kitchen, knowing Hiei was more likely to talk when he was alone with the three people he trusted most.

Hiei shifted uncomfortably in his seat and averted his gaze, unable to look into Kurama's concerned emerald green eyes. He could say nothing. Kurama had given him an out. He could, but that would just lead to them all hovering incessantly. They'd just desperately try to fix him without understanding the problem, and that sounded worse than just admitting his… _feelings…_ No. He had to say something. " _I'll just make it seem like no big deal."_

Hiei took a deep breath, keeping his tone purposefully void of emotion. "It was nothing. I'd simply never been faced with… _that_ before…" His voice lost confidence as he spoke.

He glanced at each member of the team. They all had the same look, surprise and confusion. "Hiei… are you saying that you've never gotten a hug before?" Yusuke asked, his voice sounding impossibly sad.

Hiei shrugged. "Only the weak stoop so low as to desire such frivolous displays. I'm fine." He snapped.

Kurama hummed in thought, trying to put everything together. "So, when Yusuke hugged you, you were… overwhelmed, it that right?" Hiei gave a non-commital shrug "So, to avoid a repeat of yesterday, perhaps we should keep such things to a minimum." Kurama suggested.

Hiei felt something in his chest tighten painfully. "nonononoNO" "Whatever." He mumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. "Not like I care." He lied.  
"I don't think that's a good idea..." Kuwabara muttered, half to himself. Hiei flickered his attention over to the lad, who was staring at him thoughtfully (huh, Hiei didn't know Kuwabara could look thoughtful...). "Is it just the hug that affected you or is it touch in general?" Hiei felt his face heat up against his will.

"Shut up." Hiei growled.

Kuwabara smiled softly. "I thought so."

Yusuke stared between Kuwabara and Hiei in confusion "Wait... What are you even talking about, Kuwabara?"

Kurama raised an elegant eyebrow "Yes, please, enlighten us." He said, voice full of affection and amusement.

Kuwabara's cheeks tinged pinked when he realized he had everyone's undivided attention. "Well, you guys know I'm studying to be a doctor, right? Well, I had to take a bunch of psychology courses for it and we learned about this thing called touch starvation. It's where someone goes so long without physical affection that they begin to crave it more intensely than the average person despite the fact that it's usually really overwhelming for them." Hiei's eyes widened and he felt his metaphorical heart relax. There was... a word for it, it wasn't just him being weak.

Kurama was positively beaming as he softly clapped. "You really have become very wise, Kuwabara."

Kuwabara blushed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Hehe... thanks."

Yusuke beamed and clapped Kuwabara on the back, chuckling. "Now we have two resident smarty-pants! So, tell us Doctor Ku, what's the cure?"

If Hiei had a heart it would be pounding. Was it really possible to fix him? Could it really be that easy? "Well, it's not that easy." Damn you Kuwabara "the book said that fixing it takes a slow re-acclimation to touch through friends and family."

Kurama smiled and turned to face Hiei. "Does that sound alright?" He asked.

Hiei opened his mouth to respond by he didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what he was feeling. He was torn between happiness and crippling anxiety. He closed his mouth without a sound and gave a helpless shrug. His eyes were burning.

The other boys all shared the same thought in that moment. They were going to make sure Hiei never had to be alone again.

Yusuke reached out and ruffled Hiei's hair. His touch felt like electricity to Hiei. "We'll figure it out man, and once you're ready, I'm gonna hug the fuck outta you."

Hiei felt the corner of his mouth twitch into a smile. "Whatever..." he said, voice thick with unshed tears.

 **So I have a few things to say and its kind of really important to me that you read them so pls do... that**

 **First! I know this chapter was delayed, but I got very sick with the stomach flu and missed four days of school. I was too sick (and took too much night time cold medicine) to write a coherent sentence and then I had about 4000 years of sick work to make up and then I finally got my new computer so I could stop using the library one but the word new is kind of an exaggeration and this computer is very slow and mean so I'm sorry.**

 **Second! Another reason this story was late is I was worried that its a little out of character. See, the main reason I wanted to tell this story (other than the fact that I love touch starved characters and Hiei) is that I wanted to showcase the parts of these characters that are often ignored or forgotten about. Hence why, in this story, Kurama is insecure and doesn't have all the answers, Kuwabara is smart and sweet instead of idiotic and loud, Yusuke is shown to be the amazing and supportive friend he is rather than just a grumpy delinquent, and Hiei is shown to be emotionally fragile and vulnerable and stunted rather than like... a sociopath. I tried to keep their actions in line with how they act (Hiei doesn't whine or sob like a maiden and he won't act that way here dammit) but idk if I succeeded and if I didn't then I'm very sorry.**

 **Third! This is not the end of the story, but it is the end of the more linear style intro. The remaining chapters are about specific characters and how they help Hiei. For example, the next chapter is going to be Kurama's. I plan to have 5 more chapters before the end of the story BUUUUT...!**

 **Fourth! If anyone was interest I would be willing to write chapters with romance. See, I wanted this story to be platonic so any fan could enjoy it without having a ship they don't like in there, but if you guys say in the comments that you'd like it I could add one chapter for each character about how Hiei's touch starvation might lead to a more amorous relationship with the fire babe.**

 **Fifth! YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS THEY MAKE MY DAY I'M NOT EXAGGERATION I LOVE YOU GUYS**

 **Sixth! This fact isn't really important and you don't have to read it but I just wanted to say that the interactions between Kuwabara and Kurama were kinda gay and Idk why that happened but it did and I'm not gonna change it so... deal.**

 **OK! Bye Guys!**

 **How will Kurama try to comfort his bestie? How will Hiei react to said comfort? Find out next time on Starved!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Now, you might be thinking, are you really coming in here with another excuse after months of inactivity?**

 **And the answer is... yes**

 **I'm so sorry guys T-T**

 **I was in hospital for two weeks and spent up until now recovering**

 **BUT! As an apology! I will finish this fic before my classes start! Even if it kills me! LOL**

Hiei's POV

Kurama had been the obvious choice. I've known him for longer than anyone else in my life, and he was the only person in my entire existence that I've ever even come close to trusting completely. After my incredibly humiliating conversation with the team, I'd been called back to help Mukuro, and I'd spent a little longer than strictly necessary to deal with the situation. I only came back at all because... well... I _missed my friends..._ I crave death.

Upon my return, I could feel my skin crawling, and I decided to "bite the bullet" as Yusuke says and ask for comfort. Well, I'd imply it, at the very least. Once my mind was made up, I got to Kurama's window in seconds. Said redhead sensed my presence immediately and smiled as he came to open his bedroom window and let me enter.

"Good evening, Hiei. Have you been back long?" He asked, his voice quiet to make sure not to wake his mother. I shrugged, too worn out to words happen. He read me easily. "Would you like me to make you up a place to sleep?" I shrugged again and he quietly slipped from his room to grab me a pillow and blanket.

While he was gone, I moved to the desk where Kurama had been sitting when I arrived. I glanced over his papers and rolled my eyes. School Work. Boring. I took a seat on his desk as I awaited his return, not caring if I crumpled his papers in the process. When Kurama returned, he huffed good-naturedly. "There's literally a chair right there, Hiei."

I raised an eyebrow at him in argument, but his focus was on laying out the bedding. I sighed. "Fox." I said, gaining his attention. He gave me his eyes and I felt my insides clench. I jerked my head in a "come here" motion, and that was thankfully all he needed to catch my meaning. He dropped what he was doing and moved to stand in front of me.

"Aww, Hiei, would you like a hug?" He teased gently, opening up his arms as my cheeks warmed.

"Shut the hell up, Kurama." I said, but the bite of my words was lessened by the fact that I almost immediately melted into him. I was sitting down, and really only leaning my forehead on him, but one of his arms wrapped around my shoulders, and the other moved to ruffle my hair. His hold was strong, despite his slender physique and I felt safe almost immediately.

The slight distance help me not to get overwhelmed, and his fingers in my hair was comforting. Unreasonably so. I carefully monitored my breathing, trying not to show just how much I was affected, somewhat worried that Kurama would pull away at the slightest movement. I took in a breath through my nose and the smell of gardens and the forest washed over me and I relaxed a little more. The forest had always been my home, and I think that played a part in why Kurama was able to gain my trust as quickly as it did. It's also a large part of the reason I don't like the human world so much. It smells like smoke and muck, but Kurama had always smelled a little bit like the Makai.

He pulled back, and I fought the childish urge to pout. "Hiei, I won't make this weird if you don't, but would you like to cuddle with me?" My face went from 0 to red hot real quick. I sputtered in embarrassment and he chuckled. "We don't have to. It was simply a suggestion." I looked resolutely to the side, my face still hot.

"Whatever" I grunted, pulling back from him and making my way to his bed rather than where I usually slept on the floor. "Just never call it that again." I mumbled, climbing under the covers. I heard him chuckle again and shifted so I could glare at him. He felt my stare and he smirked at me.

"Alright. You don't like cuddling, how about snuggling~" He tried to keep a straight face but started snickering. "or canoodling..." He could barely choke out the word through his laughter. I blinked at him blankly.

"...I'm leaving"

"Nooo... Hiei, I'm sorry." He was still laughing.

"You're lucky I'm forgiving." I said.

He was still shaking with residual giggles as he crawled under the covers. He snaked an arm around me, but that was the only point of contact which was good, because even just his arm felt hot, like it was burning just on the this side of good. "I'm a heavy sleeper, so if it gets to be too much just move my arm, okay?" He mumbled as he reached over to turn off his lamp.

"Don't worry." I mumbled. "I'm not afraid to shove you off the bed.

He gave a breathy chuckle. "...Rude"

I slowly felt myself relax to the sound of Kurama's breathing as he fell asleep. I felt a small smile curl my mouth.

Things weren't so bad.

 **was that good? did i dO GOOD?!**

 **I rlly hope you guys enjoyed, you're all amazing and I love you**

 **Also, platonic friends can (and should) cuddle**

 **What delightful shenanigans will come next? Who will huggle the baby next? Find out next time on Starved!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me? Coming back with an update after months offering no excuse other than laziness? It's More Likely Than You Think!**

Hiei's POV

Sometimes I look back at my past and wonder how I ever managed on my own. I certainly couldn't go back to it now. Not after knowing what it's like to have someone who gives a shit whether you live or die. I think- No, I know that I'd rather die than have to be without my _friends (_ I'm actually getting used to calling them that and it's absolutely disgusting. _)_ It's disturbing to know that they have that much power over me. Especially at a time like this.

Yusuke is sitting on Kurama's bed as the fox demon gently rewraps his bruised chest. There are a litany of other injuries that have already been wrapped including a long cut on his arm and a big gash on his head. They'd all been acquired from one blow that had been strong enough to knock Yusuke out for the better part of a day (he'd only just woken up as Kurama began changing his bandages).

I'd been dealing with some weaklings across the field. Maybe I'd been too distracted playing with my prey (so I guess I'm not so different from my past self after all), but I'd seen Yusuke go down and I'd seen him not get back up but I'd been too far to see the rise and fall of his chest. There was a moment where I thought he was dead and it had _hurt_ like nothing else I've ever felt before. It had been at least a hundred times worse than getting the Jagan.

Kurama's calm voice pulled me from my brooding. "Wellm Yusuke, all I can say is that it's lucky you're not human or else your ribs would most likely be broken. You were thrown quite hard.

"If he was a human he'd probably be dead." I said without even realizing I'd planned to speak. Kurama sent me a concerned look but Yusuke just laughed.I found myself beginning to smirk but then my brain decided to revisit the image of Yusuke broken on the ground. I clenched my jaw and turned to look out the window. I would practically feel them having a silent conversation behind my back.

I heard Kurama stand. "I've finished here so I'm going to go fetch Kuwabara. I promised to get him the moment you awoke and I fear I've already made him wait longer than that. I'm sure he's worried." He said as he put on his jacket and headed for the door. He's very smooth, that fox. If I didn't know him so well, I probably would've been fooled by is for him, I'm his best friend and therefore can clearly see when he's full of it.I decide not to comment on it because I know he's just trying to help.

"Yes, and I will stay here with Hiei while you are gone!" Yusuke said mechanically and for too loud to be believable. Kurama just sighed and walked out of the room. Not everyone is cut out to be a con artist, Fox, you have to remember that.

I listened as Kurama made his way to the front door and out of the house, watching him walk down the street. I assume he was heading to wherever the oaf lives.

Yusuke drew me out of my musings with a soft "Hiei?"

I shifted my stance so he knew he had my attention. With anyone else, except maybe Kurama, I'd have to speak, but I knew Yusuke would be able to read the meaning behind my movements (and even if he didn't he would likely keep talking anyways).

"Why don't you quit sulking and come over here?" he asked.

"I'm not sulking." I grumbled sulkily. I turned to look at him just so I could glare but my eyes caught on his wounded chest. Something in my own chest ached, almost as if in sympathy.

"Great, so you're not busy," he said, grinning, "get your ass over here."

I sighed but bent to his will (only because I was worried he would try to get up and force me, hurting himself even more). I made my way to stand by the bed and raised an eyebrow. He grinned up at me from his lower position (is this what it's like to be tall? Not bad...).

"Alright Hiei, here's what's up. You're gonna get in bed and let me help you with whatever's going on inside your head right now." I glared but before I could tell him that no, I wouldn't be doing that as I already had a foolproof plan called Avoidance, he interrupted. "Hiei please don't make me tackle you." I paused, considering. "You know I will, injured or not." He pushed.

I growled but got into bed with him. I didn't want to get under the covers like he was (it just felt more embarrassing somehow) but he gave me The Yusuke Look and I climbed under. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned my back against the headboard.

"Happy now?" I sniped.

He grinned at me and moved to sit next to me. Halfway up, though, he froze, wincing and holding his ribs. My previous annoyance stopped mattering as I reached out to help him up. He grunted once he finally got settled.

"Heh, sorry, not used to being the guy on this end. That's usually Kuwabara's job."

I shook my head. "You alright?" I asked. His eyes widened in surprise. He knows that I hate voicing my concern and I love making fun of Kuwabara. It just… felt wrong to be joking around with Yusuke, letting him make me feel good after I let him get hurt.

He grabbed my hand that was still resting on his shoulder after helping him up and squeezed. "I'm okay." He said seriously. I got the feeling he was trying to reassure me over more than the incident just now. I squeezed his hand back, unsure of what else to do. I've never held someone's hand before. Is it supposed to be so… nice? The silence stretched between us and for a moment I feared he was waiting for me to do something. Was there some response one was supposed to give to hand holding?

I searched his eyes for an answer and only found the concern from earlier. I sighed. Oh… I'm supposed to open up now… or whatever.

"You almost weren't… Okay, I mean." I said no longer able to meet his eyes as I fumbled for words to describe the ache in my chest that hadn't let up since he got hurt. "If Kurama hadn't been there…" I let myself trail off. Yusuke sighed and I risked a glance up at his face. He was smiling down at me sadly.

"I know. I'm sorry I worried you." He said

"I wasn't worried." I snapped without thinking. He just snorted. I guess I'm not as smooth a liar as Kurama either.

"Of course you weren't." He said, his voice all warm and affectionate and gross as he started to gently rub his thumb across the back of my hand.

"Your fingers are sweaty." I said, to stop myself from saying something equally affectionate and gross. Yusuke looked affronted.

"Only cause your hands are like 400 degrees!" He said, dropping my hand. I immediately missed the feel of his palm in mint bu he distracted me from the loss by putting an arm around my shoulder. I tensed reflexively but made myself relax. It's just Yusuke.

"Is that what you've been moping about?" He asked.

"What? Your clammy hands?" I asked, despite knowing full well what he meant. He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Dick." He muttered. I smirked and he grinned back, but my smirk fell as I answered his question.

"I just…" I decided to talk before I had my thoughts in order and I'm now realizing that that was a mistake. I have no idea how to put my intangible feelings into words that make sense. "My chest hurts." I begin, because while I figure if I get enough words out Yusuke will find a way to understand. He can usually get it from just my movements but I imagine it's harder when _I_ don't even know what I'm feeling. "My chest hurts, and I'm feel like I'm ill in my stomach, and I keep reliving that moment when you fell and I could see you but I was too far away to do _anything."_ My voice shook on the word so I paused and breathed in through my nose. Yusuke pulled me closer so that my arm was pressed against his side and the contact made my brain fuzzy "And I'm angry." I began again, calmer this time. "I'm so angry at the demon who hurt you and myself for everyone else for not stopping it and you for not defending yourself better and at myself for being angry because I don't like being angry with you guys." I blush at the admission that I wasn't expecting but plowed forward anyways. "And I keep thinking about how you could all die horribly and… and I'd be alone again."

Oof, hearing my own voice saying that was a whole new level of upsetting. I blame Yusuke. He's always manages to make me say things I don't want to say. Pretty sure he's a witch.

Yusuke squeezed my shoulder. "Well, it sounds like you're guilty, and anxious… and angry, obviously, but that's not a bad thing. You do realize that right?"

I looked at his face, confused. Of course it's a bad thing. Doesn't he understand? This is quite possibly the worst thing that's ever happened. I'M HAVING FEELINGS! "It's weakness to feel that way." I tried to explain.

He just smiled at me with that sad, guilty look he'd given me when the whole touch thing had been figured out. "Do you think Kurama's weak?" I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not." I snapped. "What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He's feeling all those things too, man. Probably worse on the guilt because he was closer. Didn't you hear? He apologized to me twice for not having my back." He sighed, shrugging. "Guilt, anxiety, anger… they're all pretty normal for a situation like this. You don't have to feel bad for having feelings."

I stared at the blanket on my lap, silently trying to process what he was telling me. It went against everything I had learned growing up, but… I trust Yusuke. He wouldn't make these things up just to see me make a fool of myself.

I don't know how long I was lost in my own thoughts but Yusuke held my shoulder the whole time, which I'm sure was murder on his ribs.

"Yusuke…" I finally offered. "You were right earlier… I was... Worried." My words were quiet and unsure, but Yusuke grinned anyways bumping the side of my head with his.  
"I know, man, I know."

 **Good lord this chapter fought me.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it! So sorry for the long wait but I'm petty and flawed :)**

 **Pls review if you have a minute**


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